The precious jewel

Like a rock crumbling into the ocean

I feel agony beyond words

I feel a numbness,

yet aware of what is going on.

I am drunk in the agony of loosing

This bitter sweet nectar made me drunk:

the bottomless grief that is embraced by my heart.

In the tantric symphony of feelings,I cannot think. I am frozen in the dynamic stillness, breathless in the long tide of love and care.

Yet I am still breathing. Just being with it. Holding the grief gently like a previous jewel. Lifting it to my heart and I can now see the wonder: grief turns into red balloons, flying, filling the sky and I sincerely wish to send this blessing to reach every aching heart.

The transmutation helps a bit. Slowly embracing the unknown. Treasuring the shared mad love woven in the fabric of my soul, the alchemy of the heart and the gap that still connects us through the source. The breath of life keeps moving. I will move on too. Slowly with grace and gratitude to hold my heart, your heart and all. Though not now, a bit later. When the time is right.